Awakening
by SunshineHomicide
Summary: Dr. Reid returns time and time again to visit with Amanda to try and coax Adam out. But, how far exactly will he go to be able to bring Adam Jackson back from the deep shadows of his own mind?
1. Conflicted

_**Awakening**_

_**Reid/Adam J.**_

_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the show Criminal Minds. I only appreciate their stories._

_Warning: Slight gore to add descripted detail from the story, perhaps a bit of OOC from the characters. Also, slash in later chapters._

_Chapter 1 – Conflicted_

"Monsters are real. Ghosts are real, too. They live inside us and sometimes, they win…" - Stephen King

Slender fingers poised on either side of a cigarette as another woman presented a lighter, flicking open the zippo and igniting it so the cigarette could be presented to the flame. Smoke poured out of lacquered lips. "How are you feeling today?" "You let me smoke," the elegant and feminine southern accent came through, "what more can I ask for?" The doctor moved away and sat down. "Most patients have a hard time coping with new surroundings."

The doctor flicked open the lighter, the auditable click resounding in the silence. "They probably believe that they're going to be released… I'm not so naive." The session was being recorded, the blue screen of the camcorder facing away from the woman so she couldn't see her own shadowed reflection in the low-lit room. "You don't believe you'll be getting out?" The doctor bravely asked. "Humph, would you let me out?" The voice was just as questioning as the doctor's, almost sarcastic. She knew she wouldn't leave the institution. The doctor pondered on the thought, quickly changing the topic to what was really important. "I'd like to talk about Adam. He's still missing." The southern belle sighed with annoyance, "So I've heard." "Will you help us find him?" The answer that followed wasn't surprising at all, but it was short, and blatant. "No."

"Why not?" The doctor asked, pressing the matter, "What more do you need to hide?" The woman, almost matter-of-factly looked towards the doctor, "I'm not hiding anything. And I think the better question would be; what are you looking for, Dr. Reid?" Sitting across from the southern woman sat the BAU's youngest, and most intelligent agent, Dr. Spencer Reid. The male came out of the shadows with his long arms shoved into his pockets. He looked at the woman, his voice and eyes full of seriousness as he pursed his lips and spoke, "I think you know what I'm looking for."

"I wanna hear you say it." She almost mocked, feeling the tension, breathing a breath of smoke out of her lungs. Dr. Reid's eyebrows rose when he spoke, spacing each word out carefully to try and get the point across, "I am looking for Adam." "Just because you caught me doesn't mean you'll find him." She answered immediately after him. "You're not that smart," she mocked.

Dr. Reid thought for a moment longer, turning over her statement in his mind. "This isn't about being smart, this is about doing the right thing." The woman took another drag from the cigarette while she listened to him, breathing smoke out from between her pink lips. "I did the right thing."

_Well, there it is. The first chapter. I would like to remind everyone that I do not own the characters or the show Criminal Minds. Please rate and review, more chapters will come soon to see where this whole story will lead. Thank you for reading!_


	2. Memories

**Awakening**

**Dr. Spencer Reid/Adam J.**_  
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_Chapter 2 - Memories_

Dr. Reid couldn't help but feel that he needed to reflect upon the events that led to this situation, this very room that held the interview that he would always return to in order to get the results that he wanted. Whether it took months or years, he wouldn't stop until he found Adam. But, it all had to begin somewhere.

It was seven days ago, how funny for it all to begin a week ago. Spring Break in South Padre Island was in full swing. Kids came down to party on the beach and drink till their minds were so hazed that they didn't know who they took to bed with them until the next morning. It all started when Adam Jackson, the maintenance man of the Hudson Street Hotel, was asked to clean up room 319 before he would clock out. While he cleaned, he didn't notice anything until he opened the dresser drawers that were still full of clothes. If the owner of the room checked out, then why would they just leave all their clothes there? He decided to check to see if they had more clothes in the closet, Adam opened the door. That's when his world started to fall apart. On the floor of the closet was a nude man, eyes wide and very much dead. That's when it was time for the FBI's BAU was to be called.

Arriving in South Padre, the team knew full well that they didn't have much time to catch the unsub, especially since Spring Break season in the area was coming to an end sooner than they had hoped. They tried desperately to figure out what happened, how a man could be sexually assaulted. Each victim was tied up, that was obvious from the lacerations on their wrists and ankles. They knew that the victim couldn't have been held at gunpoint and forced to tie himself up. Also, there were no drugs in their systems. So, the act had to be consensual, or there had to be a partner. They had to catch this unsub, and fast. They needed to talk to who cleaned the room.

That's what first brought Dr. Spencer Reid to Adam Jackson. He arrived with Morgan onto the roof of the building, looking down at the top of a mess of dark hair over an air-conditioning unit. Morgan decided to speak first, "Adam Jackson, your manager said that we could find you up here." Adam hurried onto his feet, shocked and frightened by the larger man. He quickly tugged the ear buds out of his ears, dropping the iPod onto the ground. "I… I get migraines…" Despite how cool and calm Morgan looked, Adam was frightened like a cornered animal. "You discovered the body last night?" Morgan spoke clearly, looking at the nervous younger man through dark sunglasses. "Yeah…" "Had you ever seen him before? Or noticed anyone he may have been with?" Adam didn't know what to do, he avoided eye contact, slipping his hands into his pockets as if to separate himself from the intimidating agent, "I.. I never seen him before in my life till I opened the closet. Now I can't- Can't get him out of my head." The green eyed male turned away from the two agents, walking further away from them, but still keeping his head turned towards them.

That was when Dr. Reid, whom had before been just observing, stepped in. "What about the- uh, the first victim, William Browder. Have you ever seen him before?" Adam knew right away that this man was much different. His voice was calmer, more welcoming. Even though Reid was taller than Adam, he wasn't nearly as frightening as Morgan. "I've never seen either of them." Dr. Reid pursed his lips, his brows pushed together to keep the sun out of his eyes. "Let me ask you this; is there anything you remember about the room before you discovered the body?" Adam broke eye contact, looking away and thinking about his answer. "Uh-" "It might not seem like much, but the smallest detail could really help us a lot." Dr. Reid made Adam want to help. "It looked pretty normal. I mean, until I opened the closet door." He would look at Reid each time he answered, but looked away when the agent would start asking another question. "Did anything stand out about the body? Or uh, f-for that matter, anyone at the hotel last night?" Adam took a moment to think, to remember, but there was nothing. "No, man, you've seen one drunk frat guy, you've seen them all."

That was when Morgan stepped back in again, trying to assess the submissive male. "Adam, I thought you said you didn't recognize him." Both Adam and Reid looked at Morgan for a moment when he spoke. "I didn't. I just- I grew up in Corpus Christi across the bridge, I know the type. They walk around like they own the place, ya know? They think they can do whatever they want." Dr. Reid looked over the edge of the building with Adam as they observed the people below. "How long have you worked here?" Adam looked back to Dr. Reid, "Six months, I guess."

Reid looked to Morgan, silently telling him that they had all they needed for now. Morgan spoke up, "Appreciate your time." And with that, they both started to leave after Dr. Reid spoke a quiet 'thank you.' But, there was something that Adam needed to know and Reid was the only one he felt he could get a decent answer from. "Can I ask you a question?" "Yeah." Adam stepped towards Reid. Looking down and nervously breaking eye contact. "Umm, you've seen bad stuff, right?" Dr. Reid looked at him for a long moment before nodding, "I have, yeah." What Adam asked next didn't really take Dr. Reid off guard. "How long before you can close your eyes without it being there?" Dr. Reid had to answer honestly, "I'm afraid I still don't know."

The BAU realized that the partners must be a female-male team. The victims are alpha-male types, and so, another man wouldn't be able to subdue them easily. That night, another victim is claimed by the killer. But, this time it happened in a different hotel. There was a witness who saw a women lure in the recent victim. They decided that one of the unsubs had to either be staying at the Hudson Street Hotel, or worked there. They are looking for a submissive female and a dominant male team.

They couldn't have been more wrong. But, their window is closing fast. That's when Garcia showed the team a video of Adam attacking one of the victims before the murder occurred. The hunt was on for Adam. Dr. Reid and Morgan found him on the roof again, suffering from one of his migraines. That's when the BAU learned about Adam's abusive past. They brought the frightened Adam Jackson into the station without really explaining much. Adam didn't understand why he was in trouble, and fear sunk into him like a virus. Dr. Reid was the one that was questioning him, but the more he asked, the more confused and frightened Adam became. He didn't remember parts of what he was asking.

As the questioning pushed on, Adam couldn't help feel almost betrayed by Dr. Reid. He thought that the taller male was different, that he was caring. But right now, he seemed almost as cold as Morgan. And so, Adam had to take a lie detector test, and only failed one question about an equation. But, as Adam was being released, he looked across the precinct at Dr. Reid, a smug look on his face that crept up into his eyes. An introvert such as Adam would never do something like that. Dr. Reid was slowly figuring it out. He just had to tell his team. Adam Jackson has dissociative identity disorder.

When the BAU caught up to Adam back in Corpus Christi, Adam was with another victim. But this time, it was the man that made Adam into what he was today. His abusive step-father. But, it wasn't Adam that had the rage filled eyes and the knife held to the man's throat and the bag over his head. It was Amanda. The alter-ego of Adam's that was created to protect him. But, if there was anyone that could reason with Adam, or even Amanda, it was Dr. Reid. Amanda felt that she was the only one that could protect Adam, she was the only one to keep him safe because she had done it all this time. However, Amanda released Adam's stepfather and spared herself and Adam. But, in the process, she locked Adam deep inside of his own mind. Dr. Reid remembers those green eyes staring at him, he always will remember the day that he lost Adam.

_Well, this is the second chapter of my story, Awakening. All of this may seem really repetitive, but it serves as a basis before I can truly start the story rather than it just coming off out of nowhere from some random unseen point in the story. As always, R&R and look forward to the next chapter to come out. Thanks for reading!_


	3. Monsters

**Reid/Adam**

**Chapter 3 - Monsters**

The psychiatrist looked across the room at Amanda. "Do you have any remorse for what you've done?" Amanda looked at the woman with a confident arch in her back, her head held high. "Why should I? They got what they deserved." That's when Dr. Reid made himself known again. "What about Adam? Did Adam get what he deserved?" Amanda took a drag of her cigarette, looking towards the tall FBI agent. "Adam was special." The persistent Dr. Reid crossed his arms, "Well, if he's so special then why don't you tell me how to find him?" Amanda didn't want Reid to find Adam, ever. "Because, he's in a better place now." Slowly getting frustrated, Dr. Reid kept his voice level, "That's not for you to decide." Amanda looked at him, her pink lips plump. "You've met Adam, tell me I'm wrong." She was daring him now as she leaned forward and snuffed out her cigarette into the ashtray.

She sat back as the camcorder was closed. "Tell me, Dr. Reid, how long will you keep visiting me in here?" Reid stepped towards Amanda, not really fearing her because he wasn't like her victims, "Until I find Adam." The woman stood, looking at him. Rising out of the darkness, green eyes wide as always. "Why do you care?" Dr. Reid looked at her, "He deserves a life, it's his." Amanda didn't know how to react, she knew that Adam trusted Dr. Reid, but she didn't feel the same way. "So you're trying to wear me down and release him." She accused, though her voice was soft. Dr. Reid just shook his head, "No, I'm just waiting for you to do the right thing." Amanda seemed almost strained when he said that, "Well, then you're going to be waiting for a very long time." They looked at one another for a long moment before Amanda was escorted out of the room.

When Dr. Reid returned home, he realized that though it was his first visit to see Amanda, he wouldn't just leave it at that. He couldn't give up on Adam. But, with his life being so busy, when would be able to see them again? Between work and his mother, he never even had time for himself. But, he would make it. No matter what, he would help Adam.

_Terribly short chapter, so sorry for that. But the next one is when the story will really take off. Thanks for reading. Be sure to review! I'd love to see your opinions!_


	4. Awakening

**Reid/Adam**

**Chapter 4 - Awakening**

It had been weeks since his last visit, but Dr. Reid had a lot of time during those weeks to think about ways that he could try and draw Adam back into his own reality. But, there weren't many that he could think would be successful. Probability was everything because he was afraid that if he tried, and failed, Amanda would refuse to see him again. And if she didn't comply to seeing him, then the battle would be lost.

The only reason why Reid was able to see Amanda because she knew that he cared about Adam, not as much as she did, but he cared. Everyone from the BAU could tell that there were just parts of Reid's life that got to him. This was one of these instances. They were worried about him, just as worried as they were after he had been taken by Tobias Henkel.

But this was different, no one knew how or why, but there was only one idea that came into his mind when Dr. Reid thought of ways of drawing Adam out. And so, he sat on the BAU jet, waiting patiently to land. He was alone, and he was grateful that Hotch had let him borrow the jet for his trip. The faster he got there, the faster he got back to work.

Reid landed and immediately got settled into his hotel. Being back brought back more memories about the men that died, what Amanda had done to them. But, he hoped that she would be a little happy to see him. The more he thought about it, the more he doubted that she would. Amanda knew that Reid's only goal was to find Adam, at all costs. He sighed and sat down on his bed, even Dr. Reid wasn't immune to jet lag. He fell back onto his bed, he would have to rest up if he wanted to get to see Adam tomorrow. He needed to be at the top of his game.

The next morning was normal. He arrived at the hospital early and talked to the psychiatrist that was handling Amanda. "Dr. Reid, how nice of you to visit us again." He smiled, "Sorry I wasn't able to come sooner." The dark skinned woman shook her head, "It's not a problem, I'll take you to see Amanda right away." He followed her back into the room, the same one was before. The low light, the camera. Nothing had changed. Even the look that Amanda gave him when she came into the room was the same as before. The whole situation was giving Dr. Reid a sense of déjà vu. Even the psychiatrist let Amanda smoke again.

"Here to talk more about Adam, huh, Dr. Reid? When are you going to just give up? I'm not going to tell you where he is." Dr. Reid looked at her, that accent, that stature. It all made him so frustrated, but he kept himself calm on the outside. He pursed his lips, "I will never give up, Amanda, when are you going to realize that?" He reached up and tucked his hair behind his ear. Amanda just looked at him, the two standing in silence, just staring. Finally, Reid looked at the psychiatrist. "Could you leave us alone, please?" The doctor looked from him to Amanda and back, "Are you sure?" He nodded and she left. Slowly, he walked over to the camera and shut it off, ending the recording immediately. "May I sit?" He looked at Amanda and she nodded, taking a drag of her cigarette. He sat on the couch beside her.

"Amanda, why won't you tell me how to find him?" His eyes were adverted away from the female. She smirked, "Because, Dr. Reid, he's safe where he is." Dr. Reid sat back against the couch and looked over at her. "But is he happy?" Amanda's eyes went wide, "What?" "Is he happy? Is that what he wants, to be safe, or does he want to live his life?" She brought the cigarette to her lips, her hands shaking softly. "That isn't for you to decide, and it isn't up to him. I'm the one that has taken care of him all these years, I'm the strong one!" She stood up and snuffed out her cigarette in the ashtray. "Dr. Reid, I think you should leave now." Reid stood up, "Not until I find Adam."

The look in Amanda's eyes was a mixture of shock and frustration, and a hint of rage. But, Reid moved close to her anyways, sliding his long arms around her shoulders and dipping close to her ear. His heart was thumping so hard into his chest that it made his throat hurt, and with all of his soul, he hoped that something like this would work. If strong emotion brought Amanda out, then maybe it would bring Adam out, too. He closed his eye, breathing against her ear. "Adam… It's Dr. Reid. If you can hear me, Adam, please come back. You're stronger than she is." Immediately, Amanda groaned as her head started pounding. Dr. Reid remembered the migraines that Adam would get, that was why he would hide on the roof.

Reid's palms were sweating. He had never thought of doing what he was about to do before. He was always too busy for work and had very little play. Sure, he had flings, but they never worked out. Work always got into the way and he never got to stay in a relationship. But, one thing was for sure, Dr. Reid always caught himself thinking about Adam. Every night while they were in South Padre a month ago. Whenever he was alone, he would think about Adam. He never thought that he would be this close to him now, yet he was so far away.

Ignoring Amanda's discomfort, he knew that the migraine should be weakening her. He moved his head, bowing down and pressing his lips against hers, weaving his fingers into her hair to keep her from moving away. She fought the best she could before her arms went limp and stopped fighting all together. Reid pulled back and Adam's eyes fluttered open. He looked up at Reid, "D-Dr. Reid?"


End file.
